Elusive Beauty

I guess you could say that I have always been obsessed by beauty. I love to see the colors in a lily, or the dew sparkling on the fields as the sun rises in the morning. It is in every human to be drawn to what is most beautiful and pleasing in the world. We have been created this way so that we will appreciate and enjoy all the glories of what God has created.

When I search for "beauty" or "beautiful" in the Bible, I overwhelmingly find it used in reference to women. In the Old Testament, we hear of many godly women who are described as being very beautiful--Sarah, Rachel, Abigail, and Esther, just to name a few of them. Each one of these women were known for being so beautiful that heads would turn when they walked by!

So how is it that a longing for beauty--which is a God-given gift!--can be so easily turned into a tool of the devil? I have struggled with that over and over. Because one of my deepest longings has always been to be beautiful. Not just to look pretty. But to have a deep, penetrating beauty, that remains even when all the makeup is gone. The more I look, the more I realize that this is the aim of almost every single woman I know. They may search for it in different ways. But they are all seeking true beauty.

I have realized that the pursuit of beauty is not vain. What is vain is when you remove God from that search. How can you have true beauty without the Creator of everything beautiful? Think of the emptiness of that search!! Trying to fill the void with anything but the Master Creator will not satisfy. How could anything possibly create beauty, when the only Source of beauty has been removed? So this pursuit of beauty easily becomes vanity. I'll admit, I have to fight frequently against the temptation to compare myself to the women in magazines or online images. When I do, I find myself thinking with discouragement the whole time, "I'll never look like that." But I realize that those thoughts are not of God. Anything that turns your heart away from what the Lord has already told us is not God-honoring. And what does God say through Scripture? He says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." That means that when we are critical of ourselves, we are being critical of God's perfect handiwork. Does God not know how to create better than I do?!

So what is beauty? True beauty, that is. What should we be seeking? First of all, we should be seeking Christ. Second, we should be seeking the attributes of Christ. As Peter famously says, "let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" (1 Peter 3:4).

One of my favorite passages is Psalm 45:10-11--"Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear: forget your people and your father's house. And the king will desire your beauty...." This psalm is a love song, somewhat in the style of the Song of Solomon. I read it as symbolizing our relationship with our Lord. So when I read those verses, I am amazed to think that God desires my beauty in the same way that a man desires his wife! To think that the almighty God of heaven is preparing me for the day when I will be able to dwell with Him as His perfect bride is a humbling thought. What joy we can have to know the King of Kings, and to be His beautiful bride!! We can leave behind all that is vain, and run towards what is beautiful!!

Jaquan

I posted yesterday, but I have no idea where the post went. It has completely disappeared. Very odd.... I will try to re-write as well as I can.

Over the past couple of years I have done some work with Hope Extreme, a ministry I was introduced to through my best friend Amber. Hope Extreme is a ministry/tutoring center for urban kids in Houma (a city about an hour from me). Last year I went every Tuesday to tutor for a few hours. I really learned to love those kids and see how special and unique each and every one of them is. It is so special to be able to see the smiles on their faces when they walk in the door!

Last month, on December 22, one of the kids who was most special to Hope Extreme passed away suddenly. Jaquan had been a part of Hope Extreme since it's beginning. His funeral service was one of the saddest I have ever been to; yet it was filled with a heavenly joy as well. As the pastor repeatedly pointed out, Jaquan did not waste his life. He gave his heart to Christ at the age of 12, and lived every day for his Lord. He didn't die tragically, from drugs or gang fights or other from one of the other dangers to most kids who live the street life. Instead, he wanted to tell his friends about Christ. His dream was to go to other countries and tell the children there about Jesus.

Even through his death, we pray that he will continue to minister to others. We are praying that this will be a wake up call to the other Hope Extreme kids; that they will see that no one, not even a young teenager, is guaranteed even their next breath. Please join me in praying for Jaquan's family, friends, and for Hope Extreme. This is such a difficult time for everyone who knew him.

Jaquan and Amber at the Hope Extreme center

Here is what Tara, the director of Hope Extreme, said about Jaquan:
The Psalmist writes "though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for You are with me..." In earthly terms our human shadows are caused by a greater light that displays but a vague glimpse of our earthly image. In this passage the psalmist is aware that the shadow of death is also caused by a greater source, the all encompassing light of God shining in such a way that we are to know that "his rod and staff will comfort us."

This past month that shadow passed over Hope Extreme. Sixteen-year-old Jaquan Veal, who had been with Hope Extreme since our beginning, passed away on December 22. About twenty kids were here at the center the night we learned of his passing; as you can imagine, life here has not been the same. We have mourned. We have doubted. We have cried. We have remembered that God is the God of second chances.

Jaquan had a heart transplant almost three years ago which at the time left him blind and partially paralyzed. God gave Jaquan his life back, his sight back, and his body back and we were so thankful. Jaquan knew that his life was but a fleeting breath and dedicated it to the God who saved him. Jaquan often said that he received two hearts...a physical one, but more importantly a spiritual one, the latter which is eternal. Though our tragedy is great, through Jaquan's life - and through those who came closer to God as a result of his death - there is greater triumph. And that is how we chose to ring in the New Year, in God's Almighty Triumph.

Lessons from Silence

In case you haven't noticed... I've been rather distant on here! Honestly, I've just been enjoying life. I focused on finishing my second-to-last semester well. I spent time with my family, enjoyed time with my friends. I haven't spent nearly as much of my lesure time on the computer as I usually do. Other things have been fighting for my attention. Life is on the brink of changing rapidly for me, and I'm trying to soak up all I can.

I think that a little time of blogging rest has been good for me. Sometimes it is easy to want to post things on here just because I'm trying to get the attention of those who read it. But that's not really what this blog is all about. I started this mainly because I want a place to write my thoughts on living life for God. But if all I'm doing is posting to please others, that kind of defeats the purpose. Paul talks about this in Galatians 1: "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." So, as a servant of Christ, I am going to try to please God and not man. Eternal praise is far better than momentary praise anyway!!

Hello Again

I don't have much time to write at this moment, but I wanted to post something on here to reassure the (few) people who read this blog that I am not dead! Things in my life have been changing fast, and I felt that it was better to give some attention to it! Also, I have been up to my neck in papers that I have been writing for school and, honestly, when I've had a break I've been so tired of writing that I just don't have any brain power to post anything on here. But I am about to take my finals, and then this semester will finally be over. So you can expect that I will be posting a lot more frequently in the future!!

Awesome Story

This grandmother's story really impressed me!

Praying for Casa de Amor!

I have posted several times on here about one of my favorite organizations, Casa de Amor. CDA is a children's home in Cochabamba, Bolivia, run by my friend Jennifer T. (Even though I haven't been able to do much, I like to say that I have been able to work with CDA a little--even from the US. :) So far, the Lord hasn't actually sent me to Bolivia. But I'm always open to that opportunity!!) Tomorrow Casa de Amor will be having a day of prayer and fasting. I wish I would have had time to put this up earlier so some of y'all could have known about it, but I thought it better late than never. Here is an excerpt from an e-mail Jennifer sent out detailing some of their prayer needs:

• The continual paperwork crisis in government offices (child welfare, Child Defense, and the court) including lost papers and files; delays of months or even years to process basic components of a child’s file; dire lack of coordination between government offices and even from one desk to another; ridiculous mistreatment of all who they serve; constant change out of employees; new employees who often have very little experience with the work we do, the laws, child development, what challenges our children or staff face…..and I could go on and on!
  We pray for efficiency, honest hard work, and a true love of children for all working in the government offices!
• Cochabamba desperately needs a new judge! To properly handle the case load for minors, three judges would be ideal. Since last year, we have limped along with just ONE seriously overworked judge but she resigned last week. It is complicated, but because of Bolivia’s new constitution and many changes at every level of government it’s not clear when a new judge might be elected.
  Pray for the proper judge(s) to step up to the challenge and handle all the child cases ASAP.
• Casa de Amor’s Foster Family program has been in the paperwork stage since March 2009, but the challenges listed above couple with poor understanding and acceptance of the benefits of foster families (versus institutions) has made it a long uphill journey. Of course without a judge, it might prove impossible to transfer children into foster families.
  Pray for the speedy passage of our pioneer foster family program and the successful recruitment of several Christian foster families.
• Currently six children from Casa de Amor II are in the process of returning to either their mother or father. We are very happy for them and pray that the family members will not grow weary during the long process of regaining custody.
  We pray that the entire process would go smoothly, that the families would be able to sustain themselves economically, that God would heal the hurts caused by years of neglect, abandonment, and other injustices. Also pray for the emotional stability of the children being “left behind”. And of course, for a JUDGE to be able to process the appeals!
• If you pray for just one thing, pray that EACH CHILD WOULD HAVE A LOVING FAMILY!

As a side note, if anyone is interested in sponsoring a child, the wonderful workers at Casa de Amor have developed their own child sponsorship program! I currently privileged enough to sponsor a beautiful little boy named Gabriel. (Some of you may remember when his twin sister suddenly passed away earlier this year.) If you want more information on how to sponser a child or support CDA in other ways please visit their website.

Gabriel celebrating his first birthday last month

Another opportunity is for families/couples to serve long term by opening a children’s home for a small group of children--kind of a smaller scale of the larger homes. (The Alseth family currently runs a home like this, Casa de Amor III.) Jennifer also needs a long-term administrative assistant. So if you think the Lord may be calling you in either of those areas, please pray about these opportunities!!

A beautiful picture of all 42 children currently being cared for by

Casa de Amor (taken just a few days ago)

P.S. Jennifer, I hope you don't mind that I stole your pictures. They were so pretty I couldn't help it. ;)

Living out Faith

If I had to choose one woman in Scripture I would want to be like, I really am not sure who I would choose. There are so many amazing women in the Bible! But at the very top of my list of heroines is the faithful woman in 2 Kings 4:8-37.

In verses 8-17, we see her servant heart, hospitality, love for God's people--all throughout this passage we see her as a very humble woman of God. We are told that she is wealthy, yet she doesn't appear to ever take advantage of the blessings that God has given her. She didn't glory in her wealth but rather used it in the Lord's service. In fact, in reading this I am challenged by the extent of her hospitality. She regularly fed Elisha every time he passed through, and then even suggested to her husband that they build an extra room onto their own house for Elisha! One thing that really jumps out at me about this passage is that this woman wasn't waiting for her husband to tell her how to minster to others. While she was completely submissive to his authority, consulting him on everything, she was actively seeking out her own opportunities to minister to others. She wasn't just sitting at home waiting for her husband to suggest something. Instead she initiated opportunities; in doing that she even encouraged her husband to minister to others. The Lord blesses her for this, giving her what she had longed for--a son of her own.

Verses 18-37, however, really prove what an amazing woman of God she truly was. What incredible faith she had! The son that she had longed for for so many years dies with almost no warning. I can't even imagine the despair she must have felt. What anguish she must have been in that morning, only being able to hold her son as he died! Yet then she lays her son down and goes to find Elisha, hiding it from her husband! She simply tells him, "All is well." I believe this was not a lie. It really was well with her. She trusted in the Lord completely. Again, when she meets Elisha's servant, she tells him, "All is well." Only when she reaches Elisha does she show her complete brokenness, falling at his feet in agony. "She is in bitter distress," Elisha tells his servant. Then follows her to her home and the Lord allows him to raise the boy from the dead.

Psalm 50:14 says, "Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving and perform your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” If you read that entire passage, you will see that what the Lord is saying here is that there is no true offering we can give Him. He owns all anyway! So what is the offering He most desires? That of trusting Him for every trouble, every trial. Trusting that He will bring us through and deliver us is the greatest offering we can give to our Lord. The Psalm ends with verse 23: "The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!"