Emptiness

This heart of mine is opened wide
I'm torn apart and weak inside
What went wrong? what should I do?
Thought I was strong, thought I knew

From nowhere came...emptiness
I only saw its great abyss
It overwhelmed my coward's heart
Destroying peace and bringing dark

Yet as I cry, I feel His arms;
He's holding me, and whispering,
"Trust in Me; My plan's not through;
Just wait and see what's planned for you."

Suddenly, His peace surrounds
It's in my heart and all around
Joy within a barren soul
My Savior comes and makes me whole.

The Hindrance of Distraction

I thought I would share some of my reflections from my Bible study today:

Matthew 16:21--From that time Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. 22 And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” 23 But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance [or in some translations, stumbling block] to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

I can't tell you how many times I have heard this passage read, but it really impacted me when I sat down and just thought about it for a while. I've never reallly considered the fact that I can actually be a hidrance to Christ and His work, just by not focusing on the things of God. There are so many times when I take my eyes off of God and get caught up with the busyness of life around me. This life, even ministry and trying to do all of the "good things" can be such a distraction from what we should really be focused on. I wonder if Jesus could ever say to me that I have been a hindrance to His work? I pray not, and I pray that He will never be able to say that!! Lord, help me focus on You and the things of God.

These are the very next verses:
24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done."

One Night with the King

Several months ago we got together with some other women and girls from our church for a "girls night out". We rented One Night with the King, popped some popcorn, and settled in to enjoy the show.

We had a wonderful time watching this movie. The story of Esther has always been my favorite Bible story, and I think that this movie was very well made. The storyline in the movie did differ slightly from the Biblical account, but I don't think that there were a lot of significant changes. The only complaint I had was that I found the plot a bit confusing at times. There was a lot of conspiracy involved in the storyline, and I found that some if it was difficult to follow.

However, I really appreciated the way that Esther's faith was made clear in the movie. The film makers did an excellent job of showing what a truly courageous woman she was, yet made it clear that her courage came from God. In the movie she compared herself to David when he fought Goliath. She knew that just as David was able to kill Goliath through God's power, that only through God's power would she be able to safely appear before her king. The scene where she enters the throne room uninvited is the most powerful scene in the entire movie. It wonderfully displays the remarkable courage that Esther had, and shows just how much she trusted her Maker, yet still showed respect for her husband.

This past semester, my sister, best friend, and I led a Bible study on our college campus studying Esther. One of the things that we most noticed about Esther was her submissive heart. Throughout the entire book, Esther is humble and obedient to God’s plan. Wherever she went, God rewarded her obedience with His favor and caused her to be blessed (Esther 2:9).

How much have I relied upon Christ for my strength? Not as much as Esther, I know. I wonder if I put my whole trust in God’s hands and relied on Him for my strength as Esther did, how much God could accomplish through me. The whole key is submission, and being willing to lay down my own life for the King.

Passion

Give me passion
I want to burn for You
Give me desire
I need to be consumed

Why is it that I feel
Nothing inside
When I want so much
To feel so alive
Oh, I want to live for You

I want to burn, to feel the fire
Blazing, consuming my soul
Give me a zeal and love for You
That cannot be controlled

Six Years Ago Today

Wow. Was 9/11 really six years ago? It doesn't seem like it could have been that long ago. I still remember sitting horrified in the living room watching the news. When the first tower fell, I remember hugging Mom and crying; all I could say was, "All those people." It still makes me shiver to think about it. When the second tower fell, we turned the TV off. We couldn't watch anymore.

I can't help thinking that I hope that we never has to see anything that horrible again. But I never find anything in the Bible that says that we will have an easy life. Here is what Scripture says:

Romans 8:18, 31-32, 35-39--For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us....What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?....Who shall separate us for the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: "For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor power, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 18:16-19--He sent from above, He took me; He drew me out of many waters. He delivered me from my strong enemy. From those who hated me, for they were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the LORD was my support. He also brought me out into a broad place; He delivered me because he delighted in me.

Psalm 27:1-6--The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, my enemies and foes, they stumbled and fell. Though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war should rise against me, in this I will be confident. One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple. 5 For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock. 6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me; therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.

I Corinthinans 15:54-57--So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." "O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?" The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Bayou Bell Ringers

Note: If you tried to click on the link for the Bell Ringers' website, I made a mistake when originally typing the address, but I fixed it and the link now works.
I've been wanting to post something for a while about one of my favorite organizations: the Bayou Bell Ringers, a handbell choir for the disabled. This organization is very dear to my heart because I volunteered with them as a student worker for over 6 years, and I still help out as frequently as I can. My family is very close to the director's family. Mr. Aaron (the director) is one of the most talented men that I have ever met. The arrangements that he creates never fail to amaze me!

My twin sister, my best friend, and I started volunteering about 6 or 7 years ago. Originally, our job as student workers was to play the part of any bell ringer that was unable to come to practice and keep the part for them. Thus the name for us student volunteers became the "Bell Keepers.” As the group grew, though, our jobs became more and more complex. Now, as well as playing the parts of missing bell ringers, the bell keepers play parts that are too difficult or complicated for the disabled members to play, help bell ringers to learn their parts, and handle bell changes. Essentially, the job of a bell keeper now is to make sure that everything is running smoothly and on time, especially at performances.

I miss working with the Bell Ringers so much. The people in that group became almost like my second family. I love each and every one of them so much. They are definitely very special people. It is truly amazing to watch how much they grow and change through being in the choir. I have seen this organization help so many people. For a lot of them, the highlight of their week is the days when they practice. Many of the members were very socially withdrawn before they joined the choir, and it is amazing to see how much this group has helped them come out of their shells! They all love to play, and they just live for praise.

The group consists of about 30 members ranging in age from about 12 to 60. Each member usually has from one to four regularly assigned bells, but every song has a slightly different setup for the bells. Often if a ringer can’t handle playing all of his parts on a particular song, one of his bells will be given to someone else for just that song. Since the group has nearly 200 bells, there always is a lot of moving and changing of bells before and after every song.

There is a wide range of disabilities in the group. Two of the bell ringers can’t do much more than control the movement of one or two of their fingers. A local inventor, however, developed machines that allow them to ring along with everyone else by simply pressing a button. Other ringers are blind, but they wear little sensors on their legs that tap them when they need to play.

Because the members can’t read music, Mr. Aaron, who is a music therapist, has developed an original hand signaling technique with a different signal for each chord. There are at least 300 different signals! It takes a while to learn all of them, but Mr. Aaron has always impressed me with his patience in handling the members. He is so very good with them. The very fact of there being so many different signals is actually wonderful therapy, especially when that is incorporated with the dexterity that is necessary for ringing the bells. It strengthens the ringers’ memory as well as their fine motor skills. One of the bell ringers who has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair was unable to do anything more than press a huge button when she first joined the choir. As her fine motor skills progressed, though, she has gradually become able to press many small buttons as well as maneuver several tiny switches.

Although I am too busy with my college courses now to do much with the Bayou Bell Ringers any more, I still love to help out whenever I can. My dad is the sound manager for the group, and my younger sister has been a bell keeper for about a year or so now. I think that everyone should have a chance to hear the Bell Ringers perform at least once. It never ceases to amaze me what the Lord has been able to accomplish through Mr. Aaron's willingness to help these people! I have learned so much through working with the bell ringers. I know that they always tell me that I have been a blessing to them, but I know that they have blessed my life with much, much more than I could have ever given them.

Nursing school

I haven’t posted on here in quite a while because I have been so very busy. But when I realized tonight that I hadn’t officially posted my big news, I had to correct that right away! I was officially accepted to nursing school last month!!!! YAY!! ;) After a year of hard work of prerequisites, I am so happy to say that I am officially a NURSING STUDENT!!

This summer I am taking two summer classes as well as working 20-30 hours a week. When you add that to my hour-long (each way) commute every day, I really don’t have any extra time for blogger. So I probably won’t be posting much until sometime late next month. I have several posts that I am working on, but I just don’t have time to finish them. Right now, though, I had better get back to studying. I am sitting here typing this with my Biochemistry stuff spread out all over the table in front of me. I have a horribly huge test tomorrow…