Life Lessons

Life doesn't always go how we plan does it? I certainly didn't plan to be a newlywed bride with a badly broken leg. I broke it August 21st, after we'd been married only 3 weeks. After waiting almost two weeks for surgery, I'm now at home, laid up for many more weeks, and unable to do much of anything. So much for keeping my house spotless or any of the painting projects I had planned! I won't be able to put any weight on this leg until around the first of November. After that I will have weeks of therapy, stretching it out and re-learning how to use it. And I can't even think about working until at least mid-December.

So I have had to re-evaluate my plans, laying it all in the Lord's hands instead of mine. I am a newly-graduated Registered Nurse, who can't work. And I'm a new wife, who can't take care of her husband or her house. What does this mean for me? Only a few days after I broke my leg, I remember crying on Will’s shoulder, asking him, "How I can I possibly be a good wife now? I can’t even do anything around the house or for you." He seemed shocked that I would even wonder that. But for so much of my life, I've measured my devotion and service for God by how hard I work. I've always thought that the best way to show God (and others) my love is by hard work. After all there are a lot of verses about not being lazy!! I guess I carried some of that thought over to marriage, too. I always thought that the Proverbs 31 woman was an excellent wife because of how hard she worked for her family. But now that I can't clean house or cook meals or wash the laundry, I’m finally beginning to see just how skewed my view of things really has been.

So I have been re-looking at Proverbs 31 and learning how to apply it in light of my current circumstances. The Proverbs 31 woman is called “virtuous.” According to Matthew Henry, this “…is a woman of spirit, who has the command of her own spirit and knows how to manage other people’s, one that is pious and industrious, and a help meet for a man…. [and] is a woman of resolution, who, having espoused good principles, is firm and steady to them, and will not be frightened with winds and clouds from any part of her duty.” So in other words, a virtuous woman is much more than just hard working. She is a woman of wisdom and discernment, who stands with strength. One of the biggest things I see when I read this passage is that this woman has a heart open to the Lord’s leading. She follows His commands and guidance, allowing Him to lead her in all things. That is where her strength and wisdom comes from! Her excellence comes from her fear of the Lord; and all of her virtuous characteristics flow from this.

While I'm laying here with my leg propped up, I've had a lot of time to think. I know that the Lord is using this time to draw me closer to Him. Right now, there is nothing for me to do but to be still and listen to the Lord. I don’t know why it is, but it seems that all the hard circumstances I have gone through, my first reaction is to pull away from the Lord, rather than draw near to Him. I hide away inside myself or in the comfort of friends, rather than go to the Comforter and Healer of all. Quickly I begin to see what a mistake that is, though. No one can bring joy or peace or comfort like the Lord. “The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him” (Psalm 37:39-40). What a wonderful refuge He is!!

So what am I doing with my days now? I am knitting blankets for a crisis pregnancy center, managing our finances, trying to keep the house in order, finally writing wedding thank-you notes, knitting blankets (planning to give them to a friend who's church knits blankets for a crisis pregnancy center) and learning more about different ministries I am interested in. But mostly, I am sitting at the feet of Jesus, and learning from Him.

Worry Not, Part 4--Paul

When Paul was imprisoned by the Romans, he wrote these words to the Philippian church:

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:12-14).

Paul didn't worry about the past. He kept his eyes focused on the Lord. Instead of looking at his past or the difficult road he was headed down, he knew that the only way to deal with the present difficulties without stumbling was to keep focused on Christ. He says,

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which suppresses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

What a wonderful promise! To have God's peace guarding my heart and mind; I can think of nothing better.

Worry Not, Part 3--David

The intoduction to Psalm 56 tells us that it was written, "When the Philistines seized him in Gath." This psalm was composed during on of the most turbulent times in David's life. He had every reason, according to human standards, to fear. Yet what is this psalm all about? Not fearing.

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust;
I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?
...This I know, that God is for me.
In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose
word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?" (v. 3-4, 9-11).

Over and over David repeatedly tells himself that he trusts in the Lord, that man is nothing. You can hear his torment in this psalm; he is so burdened that he must keep reminding himself not to fear. Instead of allowing himself to worry, he speaks hope into his soul, trusting God for strength. This is what I must do as well when the storms rage. Often the only way to get through is to speak the truth to myself again and again. Sing songs of God's strength, pray constantly, get into the truth of God's Word--but do not fear!

Worry Not, Part 2--Hezekiah

I have been extremely neglectful of this blog lately! I wrote the rest of the parts to the "Worry Not" series over a month ago, but I haven't found the time to type them up and post them. Finally, though, here is the second part. Better late than never, right?

So rather than worry, what is a child of God supposed to do? Reading through the Scriptures, I have seen a lot of examples lately of men who had every "right" to worry, but chose instead to trust in the Lord. The first example I'm going to give is King Hezekiah.

In 2 Kings 18-19, we are told how Sennacherib, the king of Assyria, attacked Judah, which was being ruled at this time by King Hezekiah. Hezekiah receives a message from some of his most trusted servants that Sennacherib was threatening Judah with total destruction. Rather than fear Sennacherib's enormous army, it says in 2 Kings 19:1, "As soon as King Hezekiah heard it, he tore his clothes and covered himself with sackcloth and went into the house of the Lord." He prays to the Lord, and Isaiah the prophet sends him a message from the Lord reassuring him that Sennacherib will go back to Assyria without touching Judah.

However, we don't see Sennacherib turning back immediately. He comes back the next day, threatening again, this time even tempting Hezekiah to stop trusting in the Lord. He tells Hezekiah in a letter, "Do not let your God in whom you trust deceive you by promising that Jerusalem will not be given into the hand of the king of Assyria."

Hezekiah, however, does not waver in his faith or worry about what will happen. Rather than worry, Hezekiah went and "spread it before the Lord" (v. 14), laying all his burdens at the Lord's feet.

God rewarded Hezekiah's faith by killing the entire Assyrian army. He tells Hezekiah, "...He shall not come into this city or shoot an arrow there, or come before it with a shield or cast up a siege mound against it....For I will defend this city to save it, for My own sake and the sake of My servant David." The Jews didn't even have to raise their hand against the Assyrians!

The Lord has constantly displayed this in my own life. How gracious He is to me, even when it comes to the smallest things I worry about! Over and over again, I will worry about something only to have Him gently remind me that He has it all under control. And suddenly, the problem will be taken care of--without my doing anything! What a loving God we serve, who provides for our every need!

Worry Not, Part 1

"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her."

I admit, worrying is one of my biggest faults. Often life is overwhelming, and sometimes it seems like the only way I can make sure I get it all done is by anxiously keeping everything on my mind. Worry can even seem to be a virtuous thing at times. If I worry about things, at least I don't have anything go wrong (because I never give it a chance to go wrong!).

But God has been speaking to me a lot the past few weeks on this subject. He has been pointing out to me that there is a much bigger issue here. The real issue is fear. Fear of failure, rejection, pain, etc. But does my worrying change any of that at all? Not one bit!! What did Christ have to say about it? "Do not be anxious....which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?...Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt 6:25, 27, 34) The truth is, worry (fear, anxiety, etc.) is of the flesh. It is a tool used by Satan to divide us from Christ. Because when I worry, I my thoughts are not focused on the Lord--they are focused on me!! What can I do, what can I accomplish--and how can I possibly do it all?!

I read an amazing quote recently from the July 4th entry of My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers:

Resting in the Lord does not depend on external circumstances at all, but on your relationship to God Himself. Fussing always ends in sin. We imagine that a little anxiety and worry are an indication of how really wise we are; it is much more an indication of who really wicked we are. Fretting springs from a determination to get our own way. Our Lord was never worried and He was never anxious, because He was not "out" to realize His own idea; He was "out" to realize God's ideas. Fretting is wicked if you are a child of God. Have you been bolstering up that stupid soul of yours with the idea that your circumstances are too much for God? Put all "supposing" on one side and dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. All our fret and worry is caused by calculating without God.

Wow. That is a powerfully convicting statement! "Fretting is wicked." Forgive me, Lord, for ever trying to do without You!!

Worry Not

I have been thinking and praying a lot lately on the topic of worry. The Lord has really shown me a lot of things that I need to learn on this subject, and I'd like to post some of my thoughts on it here. So for the next few days, you will be seeing quite a few different posts on the topic of "Worry Not".

I'd also like to suggest that you read this post on the YLCF about worry--I was extremely encouraged today when I read this, especially since she talks about many of the things that I will be talking about in my posts!

Elusive Beauty

I guess you could say that I have always been obsessed by beauty. I love to see the colors in a lily, or the dew sparkling on the fields as the sun rises in the morning. It is in every human to be drawn to what is most beautiful and pleasing in the world. We have been created this way so that we will appreciate and enjoy all the glories of what God has created.

When I search for "beauty" or "beautiful" in the Bible, I overwhelmingly find it used in reference to women. In the Old Testament, we hear of many godly women who are described as being very beautiful--Sarah, Rachel, Abigail, and Esther, just to name a few of them. Each one of these women were known for being so beautiful that heads would turn when they walked by!

So how is it that a longing for beauty--which is a God-given gift!--can be so easily turned into a tool of the devil? I have struggled with that over and over. Because one of my deepest longings has always been to be beautiful. Not just to look pretty. But to have a deep, penetrating beauty, that remains even when all the makeup is gone. The more I look, the more I realize that this is the aim of almost every single woman I know. They may search for it in different ways. But they are all seeking true beauty.

I have realized that the pursuit of beauty is not vain. What is vain is when you remove God from that search. How can you have true beauty without the Creator of everything beautiful? Think of the emptiness of that search!! Trying to fill the void with anything but the Master Creator will not satisfy. How could anything possibly create beauty, when the only Source of beauty has been removed? So this pursuit of beauty easily becomes vanity. I'll admit, I have to fight frequently against the temptation to compare myself to the women in magazines or online images. When I do, I find myself thinking with discouragement the whole time, "I'll never look like that." But I realize that those thoughts are not of God. Anything that turns your heart away from what the Lord has already told us is not God-honoring. And what does God say through Scripture? He says that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." That means that when we are critical of ourselves, we are being critical of God's perfect handiwork. Does God not know how to create better than I do?!

So what is beauty? True beauty, that is. What should we be seeking? First of all, we should be seeking Christ. Second, we should be seeking the attributes of Christ. As Peter famously says, "let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" (1 Peter 3:4).

One of my favorite passages is Psalm 45:10-11--"Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear: forget your people and your father's house. And the king will desire your beauty...." This psalm is a love song, somewhat in the style of the Song of Solomon. I read it as symbolizing our relationship with our Lord. So when I read those verses, I am amazed to think that God desires my beauty in the same way that a man desires his wife! To think that the almighty God of heaven is preparing me for the day when I will be able to dwell with Him as His perfect bride is a humbling thought. What joy we can have to know the King of Kings, and to be His beautiful bride!! We can leave behind all that is vain, and run towards what is beautiful!!

Feasting on the Lord

Today I had a really good Bible study on 1 Kings chapter 17, and I thought I would share some of what I learned.

1 Kings 17 introduces us to Elijah. In the previous chapter, we meet Ahab and are told, "He...went and served Baal and worshiped him....Ahab did more to provoke the LORD, the God of Israel, to anger than all the kings of Israel who were before him." 1 Kings 17 starts out saying, "Now Elijah the Tishbite, of Tishbe in Gilead, said to Ahab, 'As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, before whom I stand, there shall be neither dew nor rain these years, except by my word.' " Now what is interesting about this is that Baal was the god of fertility and the "storm god." By causing a drought, God proves that it isn't Baal who controls the skies, but the Lord God. The text notes in my Bible say, "[In the Baal worshipper's eyes] the absence of rain meant the absence of Baal."

The rest of the passage eloquently demonstrates God's care for His people. Because of his declaration, Elijah had to run for his life from Ahab. The only problem was, there was famine everywhere, affecting even God's people. But God's loving provision for His people is so merciful and rich! "And the word of the LORD came to him: 'Depart from here and turn eastward and hide yourself by the brook Cherith, which is east of the Jordan. You shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there....And the ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning, and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.' "

It is so wonderful to read this and know that the Lord would do the same for me as He does for Elijah--no, He does do the same things for me, every day. I may not literally be fed by ravens, but He feeds me with so much!! In the middle of the desert of this world, He gives me the bread of encouragement when He helps me with even the tiniest of things: finding my keys just in time, so I'm not late for work; giving me favor in the eyes of a boss or a teacher, and countless other daily blessings. And He feeds me with the meat of His Word through the wisdom of men who walk closely with Him and faithfully preach the truth, and through the Holy Spirit's teachings to my soul. What a mighty, yet loving, merciful God and Savior!!

And consider this--How loving and personal God is in His care for His children. He could have just sent Elijah to a place where there were animals to kill for meat and where wheat was growing for bread. But instead He allowed Elijah to see His overwhelming love and care for him. He did not even allow Elijah a chance to doubt that it was indeed the Lord who was providing for him! Later in this chapter, the Lord does the same thing for the widow. His provision for her left no room for doubting. And the widow lived in Zarephath--an area considered at the heart of Baal worship! But the Lord was so tender with her, even raising her son from the dead! After, listen to what she says: "And the woman said to Elijah,'Now I know that you are a man of God, and that the word of the LORD in your mouth is truth.' " She trusted in the Lord--because of the death (and then the raising) of her son! The Lord knows just what we need. His care for us is perfect!

The Aroma of Sacrifice

Some of my good friends could probably tell you that every so often I get obsessed with someone from Scripture. For a while, it seems, God will keep sending Scriptures my way that emphasize a particular Bible character. Sometimes, it can even be someone really obscure. Several months ago, that person was Balaam; it seemed that every time I studied my Bible I found Scriptures to do with him. (Did you know that besides being listed in the story in Numbers, he is also spoken of at least 6 or 7 other times throughout the Bible?) Another was David, then Jeremiah, then Barabbas (hopefully I will be able to share some of my thoughts on him soon), and now Mary.

For a long time, now, I have almost been jealous of Mary. She was able to be with Jesus, touch Him, and show Him her devotion in person:

Six days before the Passover, Jesus therefore came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. So they gave a dinner for him there. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those reclining with him at table. Mary therefore took a pound of expensive ointment made from pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (he who was about to betray him), said, “Why was this ointment not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” He said this, not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief, and having charge of the moneybag he used to help himself to what was put into it. Jesus said, “Leave her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of my burial. For the poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.” (John 12:1-7)

How I have wished that I could also kiss the feet of Jesus and prove to everyone how much I love Him!! What an amazing sacrifice that she gave, to literally pour out all of her savings in loving Him.

On my hour drive to school, I usually listen to a sermon. Not really noticing what I was putting in my CD player, yesterday I popped in one that I hadn’t heard in a while. It ended up being on this very passage, and God spoke to me so much through it. Some of the things I realized where things the preacher said, but most of them were just things God told me in my heart.

First of all, I don’t need to be jealous of Mary, because I can do the same thing for Jesus even now! Mary’s devotion was shown, not by what she did, but her attitude in doing it. It was willingness to give up everything for Christ. She even gave up her dignity, because in that time, for a Jewish woman to uncover her hair was degrading. Also, the very cost of the perfume was a huge sacrifice. It says it was worth about “three hundred denarii”, or three hundred day’s worth of wages (almost a year’s salary!!). If you consider that here in the US, minimum wage is $6.55, three hundred days of working only eight hour shifts would mean that a worker would make about $15,720!! And this is what she “wasted” on Jesus.

Second, when we sacrifice something this costly for Jesus, it is an aroma to the world. It says in verse 3, “The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.” Everyone who was near knew what she had done, and how much she had given up for her Savior. Even those around her considered it a “waste” she knew that her Savior was worth so much more.

Third, Mary did not give any thought to what those around her would think or what she was sacrificing. She knew that she would be thought of as crazy, but she did not care what others thought. I’m sure she felt just as Paul, when he later said, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” (Philippians 3:8).

Fourth, from great trial comes great love. Look at what had happened only a chapter before. Jesus had allowed Lazarus to die (verse 6), then raised him from the dead. If Jesus had simply healed Lazarus, do you think that Mary would have felt such love for Him? But oh, He raised him from the dead!! How could she help but love Him with everything she had? I am sure that this is why Jesus allowed Lazarus to die. At the time, it didn't seem loving, but He knew that the greater blessing was for them to feel the greatest possible love for Him.

We should all be like Mary. We can all come before Jesus, and pour out everything we have, even if it means losing our worth before other people in loving Him. He is worth it all!! I want my love for Him to be an aroma of sacrifice, just like Mary’s.

Negative Purity

I found an excellent quote the other day from Charles Spurgeon on Psalm 1. It really convicted me that as a follower of our Lord, not only should I be keeping myself from evil, but I should also be devoting myself (far more than I do) to delighting in the Lord and His Word. Oh, I do love the Word of God (Psalm 119 is one of my favorites)! But do I meditate on it day and night? Do I follow the Lord as if He were right beside me every moment? I know that I don't. Lord, I pray You will teach me to follow You as I should!

Psalm 1
Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away.
Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous;
for the Lord knows the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

From Charles Spurgeon:
And now mark his positive character. "His delight is in the law of the Lord." He is not under the law as a curse and condemnation, but he is in it, and he delights to be in it as his rule of life; he delights, moreover, to meditate in it, to read it by day, and think upon it by night. He takes a text and carries it with him all day long; and in the night-watches, when sleep forsakes his eyelids, he museth upon the Word of God. In the day of his prosperity he sings psalms out of the Word of God, and in the night of his affliction he comforts himself with promises out of the same book. "The law of the Lord" is the daily bread of the true believer. And yet, in David's day, how small was the volume of inspiration, for they had scarcely anything save the first five books of Moses! How much more, then, should we prize the whole written Word which it is our privilege to have in all our houses! But alas, ill-treatment is given to this angel from heaven! We are not all Berean searchers of the Scriptures. How few among us can lay claim to the benediction of the text! Perhaps some of you can claim a sort of negative purity, because you do not walk in the way of the ungodly; but let me ask you--Is your delight in the law of God? Do you study God's Word? Do you make it the man of your right hand--your best companion and hourly guide? If not, this blessing belongeth not to you.

Lessons

Wow, I'm on a writing streak! Two posts in one day. Must be a record! I got in one of my old writing moods tonight (I don't get them too much during school....) and I just had to stay up and write this. So I thought I'd post it. I'll explain more of the background in a few days. For now, I'll just say that November has been the worst month of my life. This semester was difficult, but it was going well until about a month ago. Then everything I'd worked for came crashing down around me.

These past few weeks have been the hardest of my life. I have been humbled more than I ever wished to be. Humility doesn't come easily, especially when you struggle with pride as much as I do. In the middle of all the heartache, I just kind of collapsed. The past few weeks I’ve been sitting on the couch, with my lip eternally stuck out, pouting to God and hating the world. Why God? Why does life have to be so hard? Why can’t I just be in heaven with You? Why do I have to go through hardships?

Then I began to realize. What if Jesus had felt this way? He left heaven to suffer here on earth. I long for heaven, but I have never tasted its joys. Jesus knew all about heaven’s joys. He was the King of heaven, who came to be humiliated on earth. His entire life on earth was about suffering. Yet He did it for joy. “…who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame…” (Heb. 12:2) That is something I’m just now grasping: how our suffering actually can be for joy. The other day as I was listening to a song on the radio, I realized that my main problem with this whole situation is that I haven’t been focused on hope. What hope we have in Christ!! I have not experienced anything even close to what other people have experienced in the way of hardships. Compared to Job, I have lost nothing at all. Yet Job still fell down and worshipped his Creator. What a greater, more glorifying thing it would be if I were to take hold of God and hold on so, so tightly during my hard times.

I have realized that it is okay for me to not be okay. God gives us strength in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9), and somehow He has designed it so that when we fade away to nothing, He is even more glorified. But it is not okay for me to sit and feel sorry for myself, to not read my Bible, and to sap the strength from all those around me. I need to get my strength from God alone. Yes it is okay to have Christians who share our burdens. That is what Christian community is all about. But it is wrong for me to rely on them more than God. And somehow in this weakness, I’ve gotten further from God rather than closer to Him. I’ve allowed myself to believe that since I was depressed, I didn’t need to read my Bible. That because I didn’t really feel like praying, it was okay to not pray. After all, other people are praying for me, right?! That should be enough. Surely God will understand. But why in the world would I not want to sit and pour my heart out to God? He is my best Friend, my Husband, and the only thing in the universe that matters. Oh my heart breaks to think of my complete weakness! I don’t even have to strength to cling to Him when I need Him the most. What a mighty God we serve, that He loves us in spite of our weaknesses.

One Life, Big Difference

I found this at http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com. The story comes from the Billy Graham Library. What an amazing and encouraging story!!

Edward Kimble and the Shoe Salesman

It was July 1, 1885 when Edward Kimble felt the tugging of the Spirit to share his faith with a young shoe salesman he knew.

At first Kimble vacillated, unsure if he should talk to the man. But he finally mustered his courage and went into the shoe store. There Kimble found the salesman in the back room stocking shoes, and he began to share his faith with him.

As a result, the young shoe salesman prayed and received Jesus Christ that day. That shoe salesman's name was Dwight L. Moody, and he became the greatest evangelists of his generation.

But the story doesn't end there. Several years later a pastor and well-known author by the name of Frederick B. Meyer heard Moody preach. Meyer was so deeply stirred by Moody's preaching that he himself embarked on a far-reaching evangelistic ministry.

Once when Meyer was preaching, a college student named Wilbur Chapman accepted Christ as a result of his presentation of the gospel. Chapman later employed a baseball player to help him prepare to conduct an evangelistic crusade. That ballplayer, who later became a powerful evangelist himself, was Billy Sunday.

In 1924 a group of businessmen invited Billy Sunday to hold an evangelistic campaign in Charlotte, North Carolina, which resulted in many people coming to Christ. Out of that revival meeting a group of men formed a men's prayer group to pray for the world. They prayed for Charlotte to have another great revival.

God sent another evangelist named Mordecai Hamm. Hamm went to Charlotte in 1934 to hold a crusade. Ham's crusade went well, even though it did not have many converts. On one of the last nights under the big tent one tall, lanky young man walked up the aisle to receive Christ.

That man's name was Billy Graham.

Talk about a chain of events! And it all started with an ordinary Christian named Edward Kimble, who reached D.L. Moody, who reached Wilbur Chapman, who reached Billy Sunday, who reached Mordecai Ham, who reached Billy Graham.

Look at what God has done over these many years because of the faithfulness of one person.

Living with Sincerity

Sometimes in my walk with Christ, I find that the Holy Spirit emphasizes particular words or phrases. This week, the word that I keep thinking about is sincerity. I want so much to live my life sincerely in every part. I want nothing hidden from Him, and I want everything to be done all for His glory!!

2 Corinthians 11:3--But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ.

Ephesians 6:5--Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ.

Philippians 1:9-10--And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ.

Lessons from the Disciples

And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives. Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ “But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same.

Yesterday, my pastor preached a sermon on this passage from Matthew 26:30-35. I was really struck by some of the things that he said. I thought that I would share some of my notes from the sermon:

Here the disciples were faced with the decision to deny Christ or be killed. We are all faced with times when we must stand up for Christ or deny Him. Later each one of the disciples died for their boldness in preaching the gospel of Christ. But here, ever single one of them falls away. V. 35—Every one of the disciples defended themselves and reassured themselves that they would never fall. They were genuinely sure that they would never turn away from Christ. They were relying on their own self-sufficiency rather than God. But they were about to fail the test. He was trying to teach them through this.

First of all, He wanted the disciples to see, you are insufficient to handle this trial. He reminded them of their weakness. He wanted them to realize their spiritual poverty, that they didn’t have enough on their own. [1 Cor. 10:12] He wanted them to realize their need of Him. Judas deliberately plotted to betray Christ. The other disciples weren’t deliberately planning to deny Christ, but they had to realize that you cannot be faithful to Christ without utterly depending on Him. Luke 22:31-34—Jesus knew that although His disciples would deny Him, their faith would not fail, because He had prayed for them (as He prays for us all).

Secondly, He wanted them to know that He loved them and would be gracious to them. John 21:4-19—In this passage, Jesus is talking with Peter on the beach, and proving his love for Him. Jesus asks Peter twice, “Do you [agape] love me?” And both times Peter answers, “Yes, Lord, I [pheilo] love You.” Agape is an overwhelming love, more than any other thing. Essentially, Jesus was asking Peter, “Do you love me more than anything else?” But Peter was saying, “Yes, Lord, I love you like a brother.” Finally Jesus asked, “Peter, do you [pheilo] love Me?” And Peter told Him, “You know me and my heart, and You know that I love You like a brother.” Peter was admitting this time that he didn’t have the love for Christ that he needed. He knew that he didn’t have the strength to love Christ like he should, but in that knowledge of his weakness, he was empowered by Christ to stand. Only 40 days later, as recorded in Acts chapter 2, Peter would stand for Christ in front of the very people who had crucified Him, and call for them all to repent.

I think that this passage really impacted me a lot, because I have been realizing the past few weeks just how insignificant and weak I really am. I don't have the strength to do anything on my own. But God has been daily reminding me, that through Him I have all the strength that I need. I just need to trust and rely on Him for that strength rather than trying to do it on my own. Without Him I am nothing. But through Christ, I have the strength to do all things.

The Beauty of Praha

I am writing this from an apartment in Prague, Czech Republic [Praha, Ceska republika in Czech].  I've been here for almost a month, and I will be flying back home to the states on Thursday.  It really makes me sad to think of leaving this place.  I've really made so many good friends in my time here.  I am going to miss the people here very much.  

I still am not sure why I am here.  I feel very certain that God wants me to be here for this time.  When I was praying about coming, everything seemed to work out so perfectly.  Every other time that I have prayed about taking a mission trip overseas, I have not been able to work out the details to go.  Somehow God always stopped me.  But for this trip, everything fell perfectly into place.  And I just had such a peace about coming.  

While I have been here, I have been staying with my cousins who are working here in the city.  I have been helping them with things around the house, as well as working some in the mission office here.  I have also gotten to hang out quite a bit with the English-speaking youth in Prague.  I think that was probably what I've enjoyed most while I have been here.  Those who don't know Christ seem to be really seeking, and the ones who do know Him have so many questions.  I've had some really deep conversations with the youth here.  I was also able to go to the English speaking youth group here (the only one in the city), called Youth Praha, and each time I went, I was able to talk to someone about God.  There is always at least one teenager who seems to not know much about God, who is very curious to learn more.  I don't know how much my talking with them helped, because they still seemed very confused.  But I am praying for them, and I hope that somehow they will still keep coming and seeking Christian people to talk to.  If I was going to be here for any length of time, I know that I would definitely want to get involved with Youth Praha.  

I think for me, probably the biggest thing about this trip has just been the way that it has opened my eyes up to a different side of life.  I really enjoyed living in Prague, learning to use the transportation system, and getting to know the people.  I feel like I think about things differently now.  I can't explain it, but I do know that something in the way I view things is different.  I don't want to be limited to the American Way anymore.  In fact, I think that I've realized how much Americans really are limited in the way they view things.  I know that I am!!  This trip has been really humbling for me, too.  I've realized just how much I have left to learn.  I've realized that I don't know much of anything.  But it's really given me a hunger to learn those things.  I don't want to be limited anymore.  And I'm praying that I won't be satisfied anymore with staying in my little world, in my little comfort zone.  God has begun to teach me so much.  I have felt so close to Him in this time.   He has been doing so much in my life the last few weeks, and I know He's just beginning.  I don't know what He has in store for the next few years, but I know that He will be faithful and that I can trust Him to show me each step that I should take.  

The Sweet Sacrifice of Surrender

Yesterday in our leadership meeting with the BCM, my friend Cindy said something that really convicted me. She said, "I just know that wherever I am and however long I live, my life will be poured out for the glory of God." I almost started crying when she said that. Ever since high school, that is the way that I have also felt. But this past year of college, particularly this past semester, has been extremely difficult for me. I know I wouldn't have gotten through without the grace of God.

I started to feel sorry for myself. And I think that in my pity party, I forgot the beauty of a life lived for Him. I lost track of what it meant to live completely with my eyes focused on God's glory. It seems that the "theme" of this year for me has been sacrifice. Everything I do seems hard, and I almost feel like God is telling me, "This is just practice for what is to come". That has been so difficult for me. I don't want to sacrifice. My flesh doesn't want to give up. But I know that I have to. Jesus calls us to come and carry our crosses. We are to do the hard things, go to the hard places. And I have felt for years now that He is calling me to some very hard places.

When I was in high school, I struggled with things that seemed big to me at the time, but when I look back I see that they were just small struggles--getting over a crush, deciding where to go to college, and making small sacrifices. Yet I think that those small struggles have helped to prepare me for the greater struggles. I don't want to fight. My flesh is weak, and I would rather give in. But I have seen God be faithful in so many small things, and I know that He will continue to lead me in the big things as well. I don't know where He is leading me, but I know that I must follow His call to come and die to myself.

Thanks, Cindy, for helping me remember that! :)

Roses and Encouragment

Encouragement. What is it that is so difficult about encouragement? When there are so many hurting people around us, why is it so much easier to just look the other way? Scripture says that we are to "encourage one another and build one another up" and "encourage the fainthearted" (1 Thessalonians 5:11,14).

One time when I was standing in the checkout line of the store with some roses in my hand, I noticed a little elderly lady in front of me. She looked so lonely and sad. I felt as if God were telling me, "Give her a rose." "But Lord, I don't even know her!" I thought. "It doesn't matter. Just give her a rose." I suddenly thought of Matthew 35:40, "...as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me." After I had finished checking out, I walked quickly, catching up with her on my way to the door. As I passed her, I reached out and laid a rose in the top of her cart. Her smile stayed with me for the rest of the day. I have rarely given a gift that felt as rewarding as that simple rose.

As I began to think about it all later that day, I realized, I want my life to be about giving roses. I want to be known as a woman who serves others unconditionally. Just the other day I was talking to a friend of mine about serving others, he mentioned the servant heart that one of our friend's has. He said, "She is so amazing! She is always giving to others. That is what her whole life is about--giving to others!" I thought that was probably the biggest complement that anyone could receive. A life given to serving others is a beautiful gift.

Scripture says that Christians are known by their love for one another. So often, God has revealed Himself to me through the small things. I wish that I listened to His promptings more often. Sometimes, I think that it's really the little things in life that make the biggest impact.