Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Sweet Sacrifice of Surrender

Yesterday in our leadership meeting with the BCM, my friend Cindy said something that really convicted me. She said, "I just know that wherever I am and however long I live, my life will be poured out for the glory of God." I almost started crying when she said that. Ever since high school, that is the way that I have also felt. But this past year of college, particularly this past semester, has been extremely difficult for me. I know I wouldn't have gotten through without the grace of God.

I started to feel sorry for myself. And I think that in my pity party, I forgot the beauty of a life lived for Him. I lost track of what it meant to live completely with my eyes focused on God's glory. It seems that the "theme" of this year for me has been sacrifice. Everything I do seems hard, and I almost feel like God is telling me, "This is just practice for what is to come". That has been so difficult for me. I don't want to sacrifice. My flesh doesn't want to give up. But I know that I have to. Jesus calls us to come and carry our crosses. We are to do the hard things, go to the hard places. And I have felt for years now that He is calling me to some very hard places.

When I was in high school, I struggled with things that seemed big to me at the time, but when I look back I see that they were just small struggles--getting over a crush, deciding where to go to college, and making small sacrifices. Yet I think that those small struggles have helped to prepare me for the greater struggles. I don't want to fight. My flesh is weak, and I would rather give in. But I have seen God be faithful in so many small things, and I know that He will continue to lead me in the big things as well. I don't know where He is leading me, but I know that I must follow His call to come and die to myself.

Thanks, Cindy, for helping me remember that! :)


kenndawg said...

Great post Katie!! Your heart is definitely in the right place! :-)

Hannah said...

Hey Katie! I just found your blog yesterday from a comment you made on the YLCF blog. I saw your name and picture, and I thought, 'That looks like Katie B!' I had no idea that you even had a blog. =)

This is a great post! Thanks for the reminder. I am a person who shrinks from hard things, and I need to remember daily to "take up my cross, and follow after Him."

With love,
Hannah L.