The Beauty of Praha

I am writing this from an apartment in Prague, Czech Republic [Praha, Ceska republika in Czech].  I've been here for almost a month, and I will be flying back home to the states on Thursday.  It really makes me sad to think of leaving this place.  I've really made so many good friends in my time here.  I am going to miss the people here very much.  

I still am not sure why I am here.  I feel very certain that God wants me to be here for this time.  When I was praying about coming, everything seemed to work out so perfectly.  Every other time that I have prayed about taking a mission trip overseas, I have not been able to work out the details to go.  Somehow God always stopped me.  But for this trip, everything fell perfectly into place.  And I just had such a peace about coming.  

While I have been here, I have been staying with my cousins who are working here in the city.  I have been helping them with things around the house, as well as working some in the mission office here.  I have also gotten to hang out quite a bit with the English-speaking youth in Prague.  I think that was probably what I've enjoyed most while I have been here.  Those who don't know Christ seem to be really seeking, and the ones who do know Him have so many questions.  I've had some really deep conversations with the youth here.  I was also able to go to the English speaking youth group here (the only one in the city), called Youth Praha, and each time I went, I was able to talk to someone about God.  There is always at least one teenager who seems to not know much about God, who is very curious to learn more.  I don't know how much my talking with them helped, because they still seemed very confused.  But I am praying for them, and I hope that somehow they will still keep coming and seeking Christian people to talk to.  If I was going to be here for any length of time, I know that I would definitely want to get involved with Youth Praha.  

I think for me, probably the biggest thing about this trip has just been the way that it has opened my eyes up to a different side of life.  I really enjoyed living in Prague, learning to use the transportation system, and getting to know the people.  I feel like I think about things differently now.  I can't explain it, but I do know that something in the way I view things is different.  I don't want to be limited to the American Way anymore.  In fact, I think that I've realized how much Americans really are limited in the way they view things.  I know that I am!!  This trip has been really humbling for me, too.  I've realized just how much I have left to learn.  I've realized that I don't know much of anything.  But it's really given me a hunger to learn those things.  I don't want to be limited anymore.  And I'm praying that I won't be satisfied anymore with staying in my little world, in my little comfort zone.  God has begun to teach me so much.  I have felt so close to Him in this time.   He has been doing so much in my life the last few weeks, and I know He's just beginning.  I don't know what He has in store for the next few years, but I know that He will be faithful and that I can trust Him to show me each step that I should take.  

Babysitting Funnies....

I babysit regularly for two little boys, Christian, who is 4, and Cohen, who is 1 1/2. There are so many funny things that happen when you are around little kids for any length of time. Last week when I was babysitting, Christian broke the tail off his rubber snake. ("I don't know how it happened!" he said. "I was just swinging him around and around and hitting his tail on the ground!") So of course, we had to set up a reptile clinic with his doctor kit and try to repair the snake. He said so many funny things while he was "doctoring" that I just had to write it all down.

Dr. Christian: Oh no!! His heart just stopped beeping!! Don't worry, Mr. Snake. I'm going to cut open your whole body with my saw cutters. You're going to die for a little while, but it won't hurt for long. I'll tape you back up again when I'm finished.

Me: Doctor, what's wrong with him?

Dr. Christian: Oh, he doesn't have a heart. I just heard it stop beeping.

Me: (trying not to laugh because I've already gotten in trouble for that...) Is that bad?

Dr. Christian: Oh, no. He'll be just fine.

After we finished with the "surgery", Christian pretended to pour some pain medicine for the snake. Then he pretended to take the medicine. I asked him, "Christian, wasn't that supposed to be for Mr. Snake?" "It doesn't matter," he said. "I just poured some more for him." I couldn't help thinking that hospitals would be quite a different place if all the doctors were four years old.....

Unselfish Sportsmanship

I don't usually keep track of much in the sports world, but I really loved reading this article: http://msn.foxsports.com/olympics/story/8091708?MSNHPHCP&GT1=39002
Sara Tucholsky did her best, but she just couldn't finish her home run after she hurt her knee tagging first base. The home run wouldn't have counted because according to the rules her teammates couldn't help her, but the opposing team gave up their own spot in the playoffs to help her score her home run. Two girls from the opposite team picked her up and carried her around the bases.

The Sweet Sacrifice of Surrender

Yesterday in our leadership meeting with the BCM, my friend Cindy said something that really convicted me. She said, "I just know that wherever I am and however long I live, my life will be poured out for the glory of God." I almost started crying when she said that. Ever since high school, that is the way that I have also felt. But this past year of college, particularly this past semester, has been extremely difficult for me. I know I wouldn't have gotten through without the grace of God.

I started to feel sorry for myself. And I think that in my pity party, I forgot the beauty of a life lived for Him. I lost track of what it meant to live completely with my eyes focused on God's glory. It seems that the "theme" of this year for me has been sacrifice. Everything I do seems hard, and I almost feel like God is telling me, "This is just practice for what is to come". That has been so difficult for me. I don't want to sacrifice. My flesh doesn't want to give up. But I know that I have to. Jesus calls us to come and carry our crosses. We are to do the hard things, go to the hard places. And I have felt for years now that He is calling me to some very hard places.

When I was in high school, I struggled with things that seemed big to me at the time, but when I look back I see that they were just small struggles--getting over a crush, deciding where to go to college, and making small sacrifices. Yet I think that those small struggles have helped to prepare me for the greater struggles. I don't want to fight. My flesh is weak, and I would rather give in. But I have seen God be faithful in so many small things, and I know that He will continue to lead me in the big things as well. I don't know where He is leading me, but I know that I must follow His call to come and die to myself.

Thanks, Cindy, for helping me remember that! :)

I'm going on Missions!!

Since the beginning of this year, I have been making plans to go to the Czech Republic this summer. My cousins have been working as missionaries there since January, and I am going to stay with them for a month and help them out with things. I'm going to be working some in the office there as well as helping them with things around the house, taking care of their kids, or whatever else they need. I think I finally have most everything finally settled. I will be leaving really soon (depending on ticket prices for the best date) and I will be there for a month. I can't wait!! :)

On a completely random note, this morning I was looking at some cooking websites, and I have so many things I wish I could try. I wish I had the time to cook more!! I babysit at least once a week for a family with two kids, and once the kids are down for their naps or in bed for the night I am always "creating" something in the kitchen. I don't usually get time to eat anything until they are asleep, and then eating just a plain ol' sandwich is so boring. I'd much rather create something interesting out of the leftovers!! ;)

...but Joy comes in the morning....

My teacher ended up deciding that the test was too hard, and she threw out some of the questions. I ended up with a 79! Not as high as I would have liked, but definitely a good grade for such a hard test. :)

Foundation Building

So, yesterday was a pretty bad day. There are so many times I can honestly say that I hate nursing school. Yesterday was probably one of those days. I just tried to not think about it, though. I've been studying for probably 3 weeks for a test over everything to do with the Cardiac system--bypass surgeries, hypertension, cardiomyopathy, valve disorders, interpreting EKGs, etc. I've heard about this test for years now. It is supposed to be one of the hardest tests in all of nursing school. So when we first started the lectures on the cardiac system, I started studying almost immediately. But yesterday, I made a 73 on the test. That's a D. *sigh* I still have an 82 in the class, a C, so I'm hoping I can bring my grade back up to the B I had before. I'm just really disappointed that even though I studied so hard I ended up with such a low grade. I think that was probably the average grade in the class. I asked pretty much everyone what they ended up with, and the highest grade I heard of was an 86, which is a really low B.

We had all of spring break to study. I even skipped out on a mission trip that I wanted to go on more than anything else. But I don't think I have ever felt as depressed or lonely as I did last week. I just completely felt like there was nothing left of me. I would sit down to study, and I couldn't really focus at all. I called Mrs. Polly (the awesome lady who disciples me!) and asked for her to meet with me. We sat and talked for a really long time, and I felt so much better for it. I told her that I really feel upset because I feel like what I am called to do right now (nursing school) is pulling me away from the things I want to be doing to serve God. I don't see how it could be better to have to stay home and study than go on a missions trip. How could that be serving God more? Yet I believe that God always places us where we need to be to glorify Him the most. So somehow, this is how God has me serving Him.

Mrs. Polly said that she has realized in her life that the things we want to serve God with the most, God often takes away from us for a time so that we will want them with all of our hearts. Through this, when I am finally on the mission field, I will be able to look back at this time and remember just how much I struggled during this time, longing to serve God. So this is a strengthening time for me. As much as I would like for it to be over with, this time in my life is vital. Because, as Mrs. Polly told me, God doesn't build with cracked foundations. He has to make us whole first.